Divorce

In the US, divorce is a relatively common event in the course of a marriage. In fact, with a divorce rate of nearly 50%, your average marriage is just as likely to end as it is to succeed. My immediate impression of Kenyan marriage customs is that divorce is rare but gradually becoming more acceptable.
In my host house, we currently have a guest living with us. She is a middle aged woman with two children who is currently in the process of getting divorced from her husband. She is staying with us for as long as it takes for her to find a new apartment that she can afford, since her husband is keeping their former residence. In fact, it seems as though according to law and/or custom here, her soon to be ex- husband is entitled to basically all assets of the marriage. This is ironic, because the woman is seeking a divorce at least in part because she has been the sole provider for the household for some time now. Her husband is out of work and has not been pursuing another job because, at least according to our friend, he was perfectly happy to let her do all of the work. In the US, the typical plan of action would be one in which the couple basically split their shared assets evenly, but apparently society here still leans toward a patriarchal concept of ownership.
In the case of the couple’s two children, it seems as though full custody will also go to the father, although not much has been mentioned about this. The children go to boarding school a few hours away, so the transition should be a little easier for them. Again, this seems different from the US. Except in cases of obvious abuse or neglect, a judge typically feels sympathy for the mother and assumes she will to a better job of raising the children. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but there are fewer fathers with full custody than there are mothers. I believe the father in this case may have been awarded custody because it was assumed that, as a male, he would be able to better provide for the children financially, though it seems as though that’s not actually the case.
I read an article recently in one of Nairobi’s newspapers about a growing trend in divorce. To me, that means divorce is becoming more acceptable, but I think there are some interesting social implications to this trend. It could be that divorce rates are increasing because of outside influence from Western societies, especially the US, where divorce has long been a feasible solution to getting out of any marriage. This is in contrast to the values of African society, that suggest you stay with our husband or wife for life, except in the case of wife sharing in the event of the death of a husband. More divorces could be a positive sign, suggesting that women in Kenya are becoming more liberated and able to protect their interests. Conversely, it could have negative social impacts on family structure and could reflect the fact that outside influence has convinced Kenyans that the easiest way to solve any minor dispute in a marriage is simply to get out of it.